If I were an angel...

Ponderings.

I bring to you, human history as I have seen it.  I bring you the perspective of the gods though they can no longer perceive it.  And I will bring us back to this world and end my ponderings with love.

Looking at the bigger picture, we must first realize that the only way we can ever continue or be remember is through our achievements.  To have our names carved into stone. But we must also realize that any and all must one day fade.  Even steel, like memory will one day erode.  And even if it does not, eventually, as our successors gain power, even if they learn responsibility, even if they manage to control time itself... eventually there will only be a small group left.  The rest will have been so worn from the emptiness and eternality that they succumb.  And in those dark days of judgement when the universe is failing and the truth of our futile struggle to slow the flow of entropy is laid bare, it will be discovered, a time when entropy will fail.  A time for a desperate group to survive and restart the counter of eternity.  In those days all else is forgotten along with the pain, the joy, the sensations of humanity, identity itself is also lost.  There is only hope, at the darkest hour, all that is left will be a dogged will to survive based on a slimmter of hope.  But what is left that is to survive?  Only the essense of humanity.  Lost are all the binding of identity, history and even sensation.  At this darkest hour, the infinite ocean is in such turmoil and chaos, that nothing can create a significant impact.

But let us cling to hope, let us pretend that at least one person survived to play god, what can they do?  Create another sentience like ourselves.  To recreate humanity in their own image and give all that they have left to give in terms of instruction: "Do not seek the forbidden fruit of knowledge".  But the seeking of knowledge is an instinct no image of humanity can deny.  They will eat of the forbidden fruit and the gods, ancients who have lost their humanity in their suffering will have to leave.  They will hide and not interfere for their intervention would bring the cycle to a quickening end; before the people are ready, the darkest hour will arrive again.  Eventually they who played god will tire and die but first they will watch and know the joys and pains of each era of humanity.  With each development, they will know joy for their children and pain.  Their pain is the knowledge that each step is another towards humanity's doom.  In their hearts they wish humans would not progress but they knew from the start that the nature of humanity would not allow that.  I envy these theoretical beings.  They are human without being human.  Yet I pity them for I know how much they wish to interact but they restrain themselves for the greater good.  But then there was Christ.  He was a great and terrible person.  It was a very calculated interaction.  Or perhaps he was just human.

So really, there is no significance to life except to be.  There really isn't much else we can do.  It's best to enjoy life as we know it.  Whether or not we leave our mark on the world, it's just a measure of our impact.  But ultimately, the effect of a small pebble and a gigantic boulder upon an infinite ocean is the same.  There will be ripples for each, affecting everything on the surface, the ripples spreading to affect even the edges of infinity but after some time, both are insignicant compared to the impact of newer stones.

Just as the men of the 18th century cannot imagine a society like our own, we cannot imagine the future society of man.  But we can assume that they will have some form of transportation and some form of communication and some form of struggle.  Tell me, how often do we even remember the name of the man who invented to carriage, our most signifcant vehicle at the time or even the car that we favour today.  So after realizing that your life has no impact at all on the infinite ocean of this universe, tell me, is there still life?

Yes.  Because there is love.  Because there is happiness.  Of course, in theory they are no more than reactions but fundementally, they are reactions of greater good, of unity and of the joy brought on by achievement.  The achievements themselves that will have no effect but achievements nevertheless.  That achievement is the passage of time and the upbringing of a new generation.  That achievement consists of the bonds formed of lovers, from lover to lover, from parent to child, woven of spirit rather than blood.  And that... when seen in the greater scheme of things is why we love... is why I love.  That is why I search for significance in my person.  This is what I have seen.  This is the endless cycle.  Even if it does not happen as I have described it.  It does not matter.  Because life is sensation and awareness--deeper meaning can only be found in one's true self.  Deeper sensation can only be found in each other.  For any terrible burden, especially the terrible burden of emptiness becomes lighter when shared.  Because emptiness can be eradicated--filled up--with love.

Everyone we know is mortal, my dear:
Sometimes, we can't see what other see
Because we are people affected by grief
And blinded by love or other such fiends

Our friends may seem deaf to our pleas
They claim to understand every need
But dearest, they cannot and do not know
What is desired by the heart and soul

Thus, measure by care if you please
For within each heart is a page for you
Or perhaps more in gentle bloom
And pain at your angry tone...

Meh... I try and I should know better--now I do